1. navigation (Kairi)

Everything goes back to a little princess with a heart bigger than her ribcage can hold, and each time he notices its arteries peeking through her bones and skin, he wants to rip off a piece and take a wholesome bite, as if he were eating a cookie.

He sees her all the time in his dreams, and although he does not know her name, he loves her anyway. He listens to her attentively, never daring to interrupt her train of thought. She asks for little back; all she wants is someone with whom she can share the feeling of sinking cold toes into beach sand. Even if they can only do this in a dream, it seems to make the girl happy.

She likes to point, always toward a specific direction that causes him to wake up before he can follow the trail. One night he asks the girl why she always navigates him past the woods and to an old, rotting mansion behind the overgrown trees.

“Someone is calling ‘Kairi,’” she explains. A playful sea breeze catches her hair, blowing in the same direction where she is pointing a delicate finger.

Roxas lets his words drop into the wind and circle around his princess.

“Are you sure it’s not just me?” he asks.

She smiles back and his pathetic little heart swells. “The sea breeze is known to bring the same people back over and over again.”

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2. look to the sky (Sora) There are no stars in Never Was because the moon eats them all up. Roxas never bothered to look for pictures in the night sky, and rather passed his time by finding those pictures in the yellow eyes of Shadows. They had only one objective but their eyes were endlessly descriptive and captivating and he fell deeper into their clutches every time.

Thank goodness for Sora, who entwines their fingers whenever they go stargazing. Never before has Roxas tilted his head and greeted the tiny specks of worlds out there. The idea of so many people is frightening, but Sora has seen them. He whispers his adventures, voice brighter than the worlds out there, and Roxas feels as though he was never alone in the first place.

He returns his gratitude in any way he can, even letting Sora roll on top of him and splatter dry kisses over his cold cheeks. When Sora kisses the left side of his chest, the sudden beat under his skin causes him to choke on an abrupt intake of crisp air and stardust.

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3. freedom (Marluxia)

It’s utterly sickening and sweet in his clutches, and XI must have at least one last hour of playtime before trading in his freedom for Castle Oblivion. Everything smells of sap and dead flowers and sweat mixed with pollen. Roxas twists in the vines and against the tree, but the scent of the room has made him too dizzy to think about anything else except the hot, sticky plants and Marluxia’s soothing voice.

“Feisty brat for being new to this establishment,” he booms, and Roxas wants to spit in his face and then lick it up. His glare is ruined by a gasp when a thick, slimy vine curls around his chest and wiggles its way into his protesting mouth. He bites and thrashes, rebelling against the hungry vegetation, but Marluxia is too eager to steal away any self-determination Roxas thinks he has.

Roxas has no choice but to shudder under the other’s scorching gaze as the vines clutch tighter around him, and everything goes red and purple when the wiggling plant in his mouth releases a sickeningly sweet sap that turns his whole body into its willing prey.

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4. calligraphy (Namine)

Roxas looks up at her from the white floor and traces each crayon line with his curious eyes. Lying on his stomach on the marble floor is beyond uncomfortable, but Namine prefers drawing on the floor rather than the table. Perhaps it is because she has ink today, and someone will punish her if ink spills on the table. Nobody cares about whatever is under his feet, so she finds it safer to practice her calligraphy in a place no one loves. Ink is degrading; ink is much like them.

But it is so beautiful to watch her etch his name in fancy lettering he can barely read. It takes her several minutes to create each letter to the right perfection. There is little reason for them to be proud of anything they do, but she beams at the paper by the time she finishes his name. It is not even his own name nor of his own choice, but he can’t help but be grateful for having something so lovely with which Namine can work.

“I don’t think you’re a witch,” he says, arms and head nestled on the floor. “Witches can’t make things beautiful.”

But she is as sharp as a witch, as a predator.

“I only draw what is already beautiful,” she replies.

Roxas doesn’t believe her, because Namine never draws herself.

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5. a midsummer night (Riku)

It’s hot everywhere he goes and turns in this strange midsummer night, so he seeks out the coldest thing in Never Was. It is not the pavement, nor the buildings, nor the seducing moon.

His hunt brings him to a blind boy who is half-insane in the dark alleys. It is easy to catch his prize, but the boy will not go down even if the purpose of the fight is lost.

“You’re nothing like him,” the boy spits at him, and Roxas wonders why he suddenly knows his name. It is as though the word was hidden in the back of his tongue the entire time.

“Riku,” he gasps, and locks him to the pavement street. Roxas cannot control his rushed movements, his impatient lips over a cold mouth, his jerking hips rolling over a frozen thigh. Riku melts under the heat blindly, and Roxas sucks in all the ice inside his heart. The faster he can steal the boy’s heart, the quicker he can cool his greed.

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6. head in the clouds (Larxene)

Larxene likes him because she says that his mind is always elsewhere, as if it left to go find his heart.

“Silly, silly boy,” she grins. Her heels clack on the grim castle floors like the ticks of an ancient clock. “Still daydreaming at this age?”

“I’m not like you,” he tries to defend. She only laughs and grabs his coat.

“Your hope is almost sickening,” she whispers. Roxas has never seen eyes so electrified and uncontrollable. “It makes me want to suck it all away.”

He tries to make his eyes reflect the same voltage. “You’ll only regret it if you do.”

She takes the bait and squeezes his neck to keep him in place. Her lips are poisonous and Roxas almost chokes on her venom, but the hold on his throat prevents the toxins from seeping down to his stomach. He bites her tongue and lip with snake-sharp teeth, and she screeches and releases him with a snarling, bloody mouth.

The strange thing is that after that, she never leaves him alone.

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7. disoriented (Saix)

There’s something about Number Seven that makes Roxas want to circle around him like a lion on a zebra. He knows that Saix can feel this, and it makes him grin every time. The Organization seems so fragile at the base, making it tempting to take it down. He has no real need or purpose to be here; why not take it down with him?

“Don’t act like you own the place,” VII warns him in the halls, and Roxas licks his sharpest teeth.

“I’m up to the challenge,” he snaps back, eyes ablaze with blue-white fire. Saix should know better, but it is unfortunate that his main fault is his need to censor any opposition to their doomed-to-fail cause. The obsession for hate and love is too wild in the air to be tamed for their will.

Saix shoves him against the wall with a snarl and Roxas tosses his head back to laugh. If he’s going insane, he might as well make some friends to keep his incoherency company.

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8. Pandora’s box (Xemnas)

Perhaps he’s full of himself for thinking that his last hope rests within the palms of an unlucky numeral. He’s opening Pandora’s box doing this, but he believes that the risk is worth taking: Number Thirteen, fresh and shaking and about to collapse under his hollow chest, stares at him with savage, daring eyes half-hidden under a mess of greasy hair. Xemnas shoots his own glare, up to the challenge against his last chance.

“Love and greed mean nothing to you now,” he lectures, and the boy does not break his empty stare. “Your only purpose is to help us regain what we have lost.”

“H-heart,” XIII gasps, still adapting to his cold veins. He almost falls over, but Xemnas strides in to hold his shoulders. The boy’s eyes become even more untamed, but Xemnas pays no heed. His new prize would obey soon enough.

“You are free to venture as you please,” he continues, “but if you do not satisfy the requirements of this order, you will never become whole again.”

He misses the blaze in the boy’s blue eyes – a fatal mistake. He closes the lid too soon, and he does not know his error until a year later when he unleashes Roxas’ envy, vanity, and self-obsession, but leaves hope locked inside for the boy to claim all for himself.

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9. without a name (Samurai)

This one is intriguing to Roxas because its story has no similarities with the stories of his other warriors. He circles his newcomer, checking for anything else unusual from a typical Samurai. It looks exactly like the others, but its tone sparks something curious in Roxas’ greedy mind.

“Your name,” he demands, and the Samurai says nothing.

Instead, it bows its head and says, “I died of a broken heart.”

“You’re nobody because your heart was strong,” Roxas corrects, even though his correction should really be an oxymoron. “I asked for your name.”

“I don’t remember,” it replies quietly. Roxas stops his pacing around it, his supposed-to-be empty chest suddenly stinging. He approaches his warrior slowly, threateningly, and stares it down through its covered face.

“All I remember is that I died of a broken heart,” it continues, and Roxas feels, feels, sympathy because he knows the Samurai’s story so well.

“You must learn to overcome it or else you will die without a heart at all,” he says. He puts his hands on the Samurai’s shoulders, and suddenly he’s shaking all over.

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10. paranoia (Axel)

Axel’s hands on his shoulders and teeth on his neck make him scared and excited all at once. It’s this paranoia that he loves and craves, for it is the one thing he is definitely certain he can feel.

Axel loves it, too, the daredevil that he is. XIII has enough risks in his life to satisfy Axel’s hunger for a feeling like he’s standing on his toes over the edge of a black, bottom-less cliff. He takes a bite over Roxas’ pulse and the boy moans under his grasp.

“Tell me what you want,” Axel breathes dangerously into his ear. Roxas gasps when one of those hands curl around the front of his pants, dancing lightly, playfully.

“Everything,” he rasps, which should be a lie because they do not have the capability to want so desperately. Axel laughs at this, his usual barbaric cackle now a soft huff.

“You would have to exchange everything for everything,” he replies. The hand moves under Roxas’ shirt, testing the strange vibrations and ripples under his skin.

“I’m not scared,” says Roxas. He hardens his gaze, hoping to fool his daring friend, but Axel knows him too well by now. The rest of the Organization may be tricked, but he has yet to surpass Axel’s own deception. The other’s barbaric cackle returns, and Roxas realizes that Axel is just as paranoid and thrilled as he is.

“I’ll split half of my everything with half of your everything, and then we can enjoy it together,” Axel offers. Roxas gives him a suspicious look, waiting for a trap door to appear under his feet or fire-hot chains to wrap around his skinny wrists, but when neither happens, he realizes what Axel means. There is little they can do with half of a life, but at least when they’re side by side, they can trick fate into thinking that they are one person.

“Okay,” he says, and they wait for everything together once their half-loved lives are used up.